Available in eBook or Paperback
Okay….enough already. Everyone is sick of the Canadians winning so many medals at Sochi. So I’ve come up with the perfect plan to totally stop this domination —- I’m gonna kidnap their hockey goalies!! ********** (evil mad scientist laugh) **************
What’s a guy gotta do in order to get his AARP card? I was all jazzed because I turned 50 this week and was looking forward to getting my card in the mail. Everyone knows the joke, you turn 50 and AARP sends you a welcome packet. WTF AARP?? Where’s my Card?? I’ve been checking the mailbox EVERY DAY !!!!!!
So I called them……here is conversation (pls note that I do occasionally write fiction)
Nothing perks up your Holiday Spirit like a few good tunes from those wonderful chaps “The Smiths”. (Thank god for Morissey)
And, for those of you who are not fans (yet), these are real titles !!!
Countdown in random order
5. Unloveable
4. The Queen is Dead
3. Last Night I Dreamt that Somebody Loved Me
2. Girlfriend in a Coma
1. Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now
Ours is a family of nicknames. Everyone has a couple, there’s just no avoiding them. I’m the primary creator of the names, a habit that has its pros and cons. The “con” part is that the kids create nicknames for me which are often not that flattering. I know, I know, its really hard to imagine, but it does happen. The “pro” part is that they will also make up names for each other…..and the dog. Some of which are VERY entertaining.
Mr. Bubbles….in attack mode.
I rarely take on newsy, political subjects, but with tongue semi-planted in cheek, I would like to take this brief moment to say thank you to Canada. 
Unless you’ve been hiding in a cave for the last few weeks, you know about the trials and tribulations of Toronto’s newest celebrity, Mayor Rob Ford. If you don’t know him, then be sure to watch the beginning of the “Daily Show with Jon Stewart” from yesterday (nov. 14, warning – laughter will induce pants wetting). Amazing.
So Torontonians (sp?) , on behalf of all us just to the south – Thank you so much for electing Rob Ford as your mayor. See, here in the U.S., we’re overwhelmed with mayors who smoke crack (Marion Berry, DC mayor) and politicians who tweet pictures of their male private parts (Weiner, yes, that is his name)…..(checking google translate now as to how they say ‘male private parts’ in canadian speak….oh good, they just say ‘dick’ ).
We have politicians who solicit bribes openly (Blagojevich) and openly solicit other men in airport bathrooms.
In fact, we’re quite jaded when it comes to scandal, just another day in the life of a democratic superpower.
But, oh boy, are we happy that our buddy Rob is making the news. It calms us…..makes us feel…well, almost normal.
So please accept our sincere gratitude. Quite frankly, you’ve made this a very special upcoming Holiday Season!
And, please, please, please…….is there any chance you could elect him Prime Minister? Hmmm…..well just think about it, okay?
( here is link to Nov. 14 episode of “The Daily Show” too funny, thanks again Canada)
http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/thu-november-14-2013-geoffrey-rush
Andy Holloman - Dad, Writer, Goofball 