Andy Holloman – Dad, Writer, Goofball

Ours is a family of nicknames.  Everyone has a couple, there’s just no avoiding them.  I’m the primary creator of the names, a habit that has its pros and cons.  The “con” part is that the kids create nicknames for me which are often not that flattering.  I know, I know, its really hard to imagine, but it does happen.  The “pro” part is that they will also make up names for each other…..and the dog.  Some of which are VERY entertaining.

Mr. Bubbles….in attack mode.

So the Teen Queen now calls our Golden Retriever “Mr. Bubbles“.  None of us can determine how he came to acquire this nickname, but that’s beside the point.  The main cause for celebration is that the name has stuck.  So Mr. Bubbles is now responding to his new name.  The Teen Queen will often use the name in conjunction with a British accent, which always makes us laugh.  Go ahead….try and say this with a British accent –  “Well hello Mr. Bubbles, how are you this fine day?”  Now I know you chuckled, didn’t you?   Yeah, I knew you would.

As is the case with most other families. our dog is a family member, pure and simple.  All of our lives are made better because of his presence, which is just the way it should be.  I can remember the dogs that I grew up with and I know that my three children will remember Mr. Bubbles  in the same way.  Pets create family stories that last throughout ones lifetime.  I know you agree.

With that thought in mind, one our dog’s biggest weaknesses is that he simply loves people too much.  He goes bonkers whenever someone who doesn’t reside in our home walks in the door.  Friends, grandparents, etc. all get  “loved on” by this big, jumping dog who is impossible to stop.  This habit, of just flat out loving humans too much, has us all convinced that there’s no way in hell that our dog will EVER be good at protecting us against intruders.  Unless that protection involves licking a late night intruder to death, we all know that Mr. Bubbles won’t be cable of stopping anyone.   We  forgive him for that, just as we forgive each other for traits that we don’t consider to be of the highest caliber.  But Mr. Bubbles lack of “guard dog” instinct has led my wife and I to begin uttering a new phrase –

                 “Don’t F*ck with Mr. Bubbles.”

You know those   Beware of Dog  signs that folks put around their yards to warn intruders?  We figure that a sign saying –    Don’t F*ck with Mr. Bubbles   is so threatening, that no intruder would EVER consider breaking in.  On the other hand,  perhaps they could immediately identify the true reasons for our signs and know that they SHOULD  break into our home, as they would have nothing to fear.

What do you think???      To  F*ck with Mr. Bubbles, or not.  That is the question.  Tough call.     -smile-